I'm shaking in my boots!!!!

To step on the damn scale! Why? I don't know. I have this sneaky feeling inside it's not going to tell me something I like. Part of me wants to really bust a$$ between now and Monday. Figured I'd step on the scale Tuesday morning, and then when I get home from my trip to Tennessee (we leave Wednesday morning). I didn't step on last week. Today's Thursday, it's my normal weigh in and I didn't step on it today either! Why am I so scared? Probably because I know I haven't been tracking well. I've been keeping up with my running. Ugh WHY WHY WHY!!!!!

So I don't think I've mentioned this, but next wednesday, I'm going away to Tennessee to see my sisters youngest child graduate High School!!! A week later he's heading off to basic for the National Guard. My nephew's all grown up! At least I know I'll be having plenty of lean meat while I'm down there. The have venison like there's no tomorrow!!! So lean and so yummy! I also plan on running while I'm away as well. Hopefully I can get a little bit better while I'm away.

I really don't know why I'm this way. Why am I still so scared of the scale? Why is it still so evil? Ugh, Why is my head all over the place today? Maybe tomorrow will be better? Maybe?